Yesterday will live in infamy, at least for me. I had high hopes when it started out, but in the end it sucked beyond all reason. As Rory Gilmore would say, "I have used the word sucked so much it has lost all meaning." Let me explain.
My IV Litican treatment went fine, better than the last treatment and I expect it to work longer. I'm not free from pain, but I'm moving which is nice. My doctor was, as usual, perfect. She listened and prescribed all sorts of fun stuff that she thinks will help. Great.
When I arrive back at work I find my bosses wanting to speak with me. Yikes. They want me to go down to a 30 hour work week. This would be fine if my sister was working full time and could support us, but she's in school right now and only has a part time job. They feel I can't put in 40 hours and that I'm making myself sick. They are right, but I have no choice. At least they are letting me keep my benefits.
The major problem here is that this is just another example of how my life has been put on hold for Fibro. I gave up the thought of getting a PhD, of having a job I love, of living the life I've always wanted. Now I'm failing at holding down a mediocre job that I hate. Great.
What makes the whole thing worse is that most Fibros would kill for a 30 hour a week job with benefits and bosses who believe that Fibro exists. I would be really happy except I just bought a house, and I need to be able to afford it. Why didn't they tell me earlier. Why didn't they warn me this was coming. Now I have no choices.
Last but no least my childhood dog died yesterday. I haven't seen her since summer and now she's gone. She was old, and in pain, so in a way I'm happy for her, but it still sucks to lose someone no matter why.
Well hopefully today will be better.
Salvate!
-Fiona
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