Patience is a virtue

Well, I'm at work and its going better than I thought it would. I'm having trouble sitting, but I'm managing ok. It seems like the work is enough distraction and I'm just glad to be out of bed.
I've noticed something though, and I have a feeling it happens to other Fibros. When I'm in alot of pain, my usual patience wears thin. My sister can't do anything right in my eyes. No matter how hard she tried I treat her like an incompetent. When talking to her about this, and begging her forgiveness for being a brat she alerted me to the fact that I'm only like this when I have to be somewhere. She claims that when I spend the day in bed, though I'm usually in more pain, I have the patience of a saint, but when I have to face the big bad world I'm a brat. This makes me ponder whether this is coming from a psychological fear or just the result of pain. Perhaps its because I have to move more and do more when I'm out of bed, and not being able to do for myself is annoying in the extreme.
I'm a very independent person and always have been. I lived alone until I could no longer take care of myself, and my "little accidents" became rather life threatening. I'm glad I had a sister to come help me, but it still angers me that I can't take care of myself. Felicity, my sister, is the most patient person there is, and she genuinely tries to let me do as much for myself as possible, but to no avail. I still get angry.
I'm sure this is how other disabled people feel. Especially if you can remember a time when you could do anything you wanted. Licity, and I used to be runners when we were in high school. We were on the track and cross country team together. She still runs in the mornings, but she says its not the same without me. God, how we took that for granted. I never pictured my future being like this.
There is no cure. There are no effective treatments. There is only pain. I'm usually cheery about this whole thing, but today, after a week in bed, and knowing that this is only one week among a million others I can look forward to, its hard to have hope.
Salvate.
-Fiona